Ever feel chronically lonely

The hickey told me more in a second than she had told me since. It seems that I still smothered her a bit (For this I am sorry. I have few friends and I like to spend my time with them.), so at least she wasn't completely lying to me, but there was something else. I needed to hear it from her. I don't appreciate being deceived, especially when I counted her as one of my best friends. It seems she loves another. Has loved another. I now feel shitty in a completely different way. Maybe there was nothing I could have done. I still miss her, as evidenced by my most recent mix tape, as yet unfinished and unnamed. Everyday I loved her just a little bit more...